With stick in hand…
A little secret about me is that I have this infatuation with the movie You’ve Got Mail. I’ve seen it countless times. It kept me company through many late-night homework marathons, plus the 5 months I was on bedrest with my first child, Sam.
Anyway, there is a line in it that makes me laugh every time I hear it. Kathleen Kelly just announces that she gonna close the store and Birdie’s response to her,
Closing the store is the brave thing to do …
You are daring to imagine a different life.
Oh, I know it doesn’t feel that way to you now.
You feel like a big fat failure. But you are not.
You are marching into the unknown,
armed with—nothing.
I love how it builds this momentum and then just dive bombs leaving Kathleen Kelly empty and powerless. It makes me laugh because I can relate to how little prepared I feel when I start something new.
Back in 2012, Sam, my first son, and I were on a hike when he was about 18 months old and I snapped this picture of him. As we walked he stopped, bent down, and grabbed this stick. He looked back at me and just found the confidence to run off on an adventure of his own.
It was just laying in the mud, easily unseen by most people. This stick became an instrument of transformation. It created a vision of who he was becoming. For Sam, a stick and knowing I was with him were all the things he needed to feel secure enough to march off with purpose and confidence. Well at least until he realized that he was too far off and came running back. Even now, living in the PNW, I will often find him off on a fantasy adventure with a large walking stick that we found camping or on a hike.
I’ve been pondering this idea for a while with all the waves of COVID, civil unrest, and political drama, I can often feel frozen and stuck. The mental and emotional agility has caught me in a tailspin at times. What is the new way forward?
There is this person I am becoming, I can sense it happening. If I just knew which tool to use, and had more clarity around what I want, and what God has for me, then I could be off and running with intentionality—maybe? I think most of us have these questions pondering inside us, who are we and where are we going?
A knowing that there is more, a purpose, a dream… or for some maybe there is a complete void of a dream but there’s this need to unearth your meaning and purpose.
Like I was for Sam, Jesus Can Be Your Anchor
Before Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, He was standing on the riverbank getting baptized by John the Baptist, “and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” (Matt. 3; Mark 4). Just like Abraham (Rom. 4:21), Jesus was fully convinced of God’s love and promise for him that he did not waver when the tempter came to questions his identity and purpose in God.
Each day, it is important to remember God’s love for us. When we are living our day to day life, being connected to God’s love toward us will give us the confidence we need to live into the identity and purpose that God has called us to.
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
- John 3:1
A couple of years back I began a bold prayer, “Father God, help me to see and know how much you love me.” It’s been my best prayer to pray over myself and others. Apostle Paul also prayed a similar prayer in Ephesians 3. God’s love is the surest foundation upon which to build our life on. Since this prayer, my soul is settled. I know that as I go into the world, I am fully convinced of God’s love for me.
Be daring… ask God to reveal His love to you in a deeper way!
Get Your Stick: Know Yourself
Like that stick, who we really are on the inside becomes hidden and easily ignored. We get so caught up in surviving and just getting through the day, that we lose any sense of purpose of why we are here. As we discover who we are, naming what we want, then we can dare to start that new dream.
When Sam grabbed that stick, it was like it reinforced the strength he found within himself. And when Kathleen Kelly closed the store, she developed a new sense of self and realized she had what it took to write a book.
As we grow up, we reach a point where we're not quite sure where to go next. The typical process can often be going to school (check), landing a job (check), getting married (check)... But what if that’s not what happens? What if those things don’t happen as the world says they should. What happens when they do and still leave you desiring more meaning?
When you know who you are, no matter where life leads you, you can stand strong against the temptation to take the easy path. Instead, we can stand in God’s strength and have the confidence to dig deeper into the divine mission and contribution God has for your life.
Some Resources for getting to know yourself
Donald Miller’s recent book Hero on a Mission was a resource that helped me navigate some questions about the meaning of life and how the perspective of legacy and my eulogy can help create one’s meaning.
Bill Burnett and Dave Evans have developed a program at Stanford University to help students navigate these questions through prototypes.
Jennie Allen wrote a 40-day devotional, Made for This, which helped me have a consistent process to work through some of my mental blocks.
Then Bob Goff’s book, Dream Big, empowers the reader to take the chances to explore, discover, and embrace their dreams. His approach definitely helped me remove any baggage of guilt and shame, like the would’ves, could’ves, and should’ves.
Whether you choose one of these resources or find a mentor or therapist to help you. I want to encourage you to take time to get to know yourself—you are worth it!